Penance
by shadowcaster01
Summary: Regulus knew that this was his chance to finally atone for all the wrongs he'd committed, a way to help the other side.


_Hey, guys._

 _Details are below._

* * *

" _Do you still believe in all the things that you stood by before?_

 _Are you out there on the frontlines, or at home keeping the score?"_

 _Rise Against, Architects_

* * *

...

Regulus tucked the delicate silver chain into one of the pockets in his black robes, glancing around once again to make sure he was truly alone. It took a great deal of planning to get to this point, and part of him was exceedingly nervous about the whole ordeal that awaited him. He knew that it wouldn't be much but at least it was something to help atone for his past crimes over the years, a way to assuage some of the guilt he felt for not listening to Sirius so long ago. He'd warned Regulus that joining their ranks would be a terrible mistake, and now he was more than prepared to pay the price beyond what he'd already sacrificed: his dignity, his freedom, and for a while his conscience, too.

His parents had pampered him to take over the family when he was old enough, and all of that spoiling had left him unprepared for the harsh reality that he discovered further down the track. Sometimes he wished that he'd been braver like his brother and gotten himself sorted into a different house; even if it wasn't Gryffindor, Regulus didn't think that Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw would have been that bad. But it was too late, now – far too late.

He closed his eyes for a moment to re-center his thoughts. If he were completely honest with himself, Regulus would admit that he was terrified of what he was about to do. He also wondered how his family would react to the news when he was done, especially Sirius. He'd always been jealous of his brother's abundance of self-confidence, and wished that he had continued to emulate him after watching the train take him away to Hogwarts that first year. It was hard, though, after discovering how extreme mother and father had reacted to Sirius' sorting, even more difficult when he was left there in that house to fend for himself. The decision Regulus had made was one of survival; funny how it would now lead to his end. Hopefully Sirius would understand and maybe someday he'd have his forgiveness, too.

His hands shook as he summoned up the willpower to call for Kreacher, knowing the elf would be aware that something was wrong as soon as he appeared before him. Somehow he always knew when Regulus wasn't at his best and now with this development he may have to watch his poor friend hurt himself after being let in on the plan. His voice may have quavered a little as he made the summons but there was no helping it now.

"Master!"

Regulus glanced up at those bright eyes, so overly excited to see him again, and felt the guilt well up further. This would break both their hearts tonight. When the extended silence between the two of them stretched for longer than he could stand, Regulus braced himself for what he knew would be a long and emotional ordeal.

"My dear friend," he began, watching as Kreacher frowned at him in response. "I have one last favor to ask of you tonight."

"What does Master mean?"

He sighed. "Kreacher, I want you to take me to the cave you visited with the Dark Lord." He heard the elf gasp and continued before he could have a chance to protest. "This is something I have to do, to make everything right, and I need you to help me get there."

"But Master Regulus could be hurt!" Kreacher squeaked, alarm plain on his face.

He reached out and grabbed his smaller friend's hands briefly in order to prevent any more incidents, gesturing for him to keep his voice down. "I know I said that there was another way to approach this but there isn't. I'm going to have to risk it, to do the right thing."

"Master – "

"Take me there, Kreacher." He ordered, voice cracking with desperation; he couldn't afford to be caught before he even had the opportunity to leave. His heart sank with the realization that this was it; this was his chance to do his own part in the war – this time on the correct side – even if no one else knew.

"Kreacher doesn't like it, but he will do as Master Regulus has ordered," he heard him reply before the room around them disappeared with a faint pop.

* * *

...

"When I tell you to go, Kreacher, I want you to apparate back to the house and destroy the locket I give you." Regulus hated the pleading look his friend gave him as they stood there in front of the bowl filled with potion, only dimly lit by Kreacher's magic. The house elf seemed like he wanted to protest again, probably to volunteer drinking the liquid instead, but Regulus didn't want him to experience that again. The expression made him feel awful and he could already feel his stomach twisting up in knots as he instead peered down at the trinket sitting at the bottom of the reservoir. This was for the war, after all.

Kreacher nodded as Regulus reached into the bowl to scoop up the first cupful of the potion. He had a feeling that it was something of the Dark Lord's own invention, or possibly he'd had it procured just for this purpose. He gave one last glance over at the elf in the gloom as he steeled himself for the inevitable; Regulus had no illusions of survival after ingesting it, and his first concern was to ensure his friend made it out safely, with the locket, if he wanted to have any chance of success. It didn't matter that he would never see the eventual outcome of the plan.

"Remember, I have to finish it," he told the elf, raising the cup to drink.

* * *

...

Dark shapes flickered across the edges of Regulus' vision which made him turn his head sharply from side to side, in case he'd somehow missed someone on their trail. He was still aware of the dark cave around him and, although he knew that no one else had heard of his intentions that night, there was a shiver of paranoia beginning to itch down his spine that he knew he had no hope of scratching. It was ridiculous because they'd been so careful keeping to themselves for the past week, claiming to have some private business to conduct before his former colleagues had a chance to ask any questions. At the same time, it was hard to refute the evidence he saw with his own eyes: there was something else in here, and it wasn't in the water.

Swallowing his increasing unease, he lifted the cup to take another swig of the potion that still took up most of the bowl.

* * *

...

Pain. There was so much of it that Regulus could barely concentrate. Shapes swam across his vision and he swore he recognized a few of them. Where was he again? For every landmark around him that he found familiar, another completely unrelated one would mysteriously appear right next to it. Regulus staggered to keep his balance as he suddenly found himself standing at the summit of a mountain he was sure he hadn't visited for over a year, on one of his earlier raids. Screams filtered in through his ears, too faint to be able to catch words, but too loud to completely dismiss as his imagination. If they could just stop shouting, maybe his head would stop pounding so much.

A grey creature fluttered on his leg, and he let out a yelp as it spoke to him frantically in a high pitched tone. Something was then shoved into his hands that felt vaguely like a cup and Regulus suddenly realized how thirsty he was. His throat felt like sandpaper as he tilted his head back to swallow, but whatever it was he drank had done absolutely nothing for him.

"Please," he croaked, swaying back from the sheer drop in front of his feet. "I need water."

* * *

...

"Sirius?" He breathed, blinking at the sudden appearance of his brother. "How did you get here?"

Sirius stood in front of him in a large cavern filled with flickering torches bracketing the walls. The harsh snarl on his older brother's face was a surprise, and Regulus stepped back to get his bearings. He'd never seen so much hatred directed at him before, not even from the innocents he'd mistakenly thought weren't deserving of life. Regulus stared at Sirius as he stared back, but it seemed that he wasn't worth talking to; instead there was a wand held in his face, the other hand gesturing back at a pile of bodies he hadn't noticed before. One of the faces was familiar for some reason – Wasn't that one of the girls he'd watched get tortured as part of a raid?

"I know what I did was wrong and I'm trying to fix it." He told him and still the expression didn't change. "Say something, Sirius. Please say something."

An object was shoved in his hands again and he tried to fight it, wanting to somehow get his brother to start talking to him again, even if it was just insults because anything was better than this silence – but the grip on his wrists was relentless even as he struggled.

"No," he said, shoving back at those wiry hands that continued to grasp at him. "Don't make me do this." They ignored him as something slipped past his lips.

* * *

...

He'd found a dark lake to try and quench his thirst at in this limbo, despite the panicked calls coming from somewhere behind him. Pain erupted again, this time in his back as he flew backward, away from the water. Regulus groaned, swaying to his feet as he searched for the source of the attack.

" _Master Regulus!_ "

His head snapped up at the scream and suddenly everything returned to focus. Kreacher stood several feet away, staring on in horror at something behind his back. It was only slightly brighter in the cave than before, allowing him to see the pale hands emerging from the water further from the edge. There were other bodies much closer to them when he spun around on the spot.

"Kreacher, do you have the locket?" It felt so strenuous to shout and it scratched at his throat worse than any cold he'd had in the past.

"Yes, Master Regulus!"

"Good." He shuffled back from the encroaching horde as he rifled through his robe pockets, finally fishing the chain out and tossing it to the elf. "Put this in its place."

He heard the chain jingle as it fell from its arc into Kreacher's hands. "Kreacher put it in and it's filling up again, Master."

Regulus chanced another glance in the direction of the bowl in the center of the cave. From this angle, he could just make out the glint that the potion made as it reflected Kreacher's light. A part of him wanted to run, to grab the elf and demand to be taken back home, but it would only prolong the inevitable. Regulus had no doubt that that potion was some kind of poison, and without any real knowledge of its components or all of its intended uses, there was no chance of him surviving after ingesting it. He knew that Kreacher would be inconsolable after this, but he couldn't let his friend die in there along with him.

"Remember Kreacher," he called out, backing up even more. "When I give the word…" Something beneath his foot gave and he tumbled to the ground. Kreacher shrieked at him to please get up, that Master should be careful, that he knew he might get hurt –

" _Master Regulus!"_

Even without looking Regulus knew that an icy hand had managed to grab one of his arms as he struggled to stand up again. Its grip felt stronger than steel and he looked down to watch his feet drag backward over the small, rocky island, toward the inky black lake. This was truly it, wasn't it? Either way he knew he'd die, and this might possibly be the quicker way about it. Kreacher was still screaming for him and it hurt his heart to know that the elf was about to witness his final moments.

His heels brushed against the water and he called out again to his dear friend, the one who'd stuck by him throughout his childhood when Sirius hadn't been around anymore, who'd looked after him when it was just him in the house. And now he'd be completely alone. It would be better if Kreacher didn't see this, that way it would lessen the blow he knew his death would have on the elf.

"Take the locket back to the house, Kreacher!" He shouted over the splashing and shuffling that the lifeless bodies made in this cavern.

"But what about Master Regulus?" Came the reply he had expected. "Kreacher can't leave his Master in danger!"

Regulus was jerked backward against something cold; tilting his head back had him face to face with one of the creatures they'd been trying to avoid. It stared at him vacantly as he shouted back: "Just _go_!" He couldn't hear the pop that signaled his disappearance, but he was sure that the elf had left to go carry out his instructions. Closing his eyes for a moment, Regulus swore that he felt warm.

 _I guess this is what death is like._

He only hoped that Kreacher would recover from this; he didn't want his dear friend to suffer. At least he'd managed to complete his one task to help right his wrongs. It may not have been much, but at least it was something; one small victory for the good guys. Maybe Sirius won't hate him so much anymore.

 _Forgive me._

* * *

 _..._

 _Written for the following on HPFC:_

 _CUtopia's Music Collection Random Shuffle Challenge - Rise Against, Architects_

 _Pokemon Journey Challenge – Bulbasaur (poison)_

 _Pokemon Go! Challenge – Bulbasaur (poison)_

 _Diagon Alley Fic Crawl Challenge – Black_

 _Random Word Prompt Challenge – Summit_

 _200 Characters in 200 Days – #51 Regulus Black_

 _The Great Maze Challenge – someone lights the way; victory_

 _Horoscope Challenge – Scorpio_

 _Greek Mythology Competition – Pegasus_

 _Word total: 2335_


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